Happy Days
This is a space for me to make use of a therapeutic exercise I found to be quite helpful: listing a positive, or neutral thing that happened on a given day, in order to cultivate increased awareness of things that were just alright, or even good, in the maelstrom that life can be.
Monday, September 23, 2024
Settling into things quite contentedly. Figured out how to customize the links on here to be pink, which involved plinking a bit of rust off of the ol' HTML searching skills for a second, and it's nice to beautify my personal spaces. Friends have been quite lovely about the new name. The sickness is easing, and I can breathe a little easier.
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
I could just about cry with how beautiful the weather is- cool, greyish sunlight, with a heavy mist in the air and a gentleness to the light you only see in autumn: not quite the harsh clarity of winter, or the burning haze of August giving way to September. Really beautiful. The cough continues to lighten.
Also, found out that the word tracking website I uses doesn't just do streaks- cumulative days add up towards badges, which I'm pretty pleased about- it jives better with my workflow of switching between analog and digital. Looking forward to their alternative to Nano event this year.
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
Had an amount of sleep that feels like it can only be described as truly extravagant. Once more obsessed with looping a particular track in the background- The Gloaming's Casadh an tSúgáin remains a solid staple in my musical library. The cool air from my standing fan, and being snugly wrapped up in my blankets, is a fantastic combination for getting comfortable and cozy.
My bangs looked pretty cute today too, after a nice shower and fluffing- they hit the perfect length to perch above my glasses and cover my forehead, without being too long and sticking me in the eyes. Got some good writing done today in my notebook, and quietly admired the subtle beauty of flecks of shimmer in the fountain pen's chamber after a spirited ink mixing session ages back: the glitter really never does leave you.
Thursday, September 26, 2024
Woke up to a tray of freshly baked brownies, which were incredible. Super delicious. Spent a great deal of time hacking and dicing up a whole vat of vegetables, which was satisfying, in a visceral sense of being able to concretely see progress being made. Spent most of today writing with a friend, which was just lovely. Always a treat to stretch genre-wise and with character archetypes.
Friday, September 27, 2024
Got some free October monthly printables from a mailing list I'm on, and it was taco night for dinner- lots of sour cream and cheese, delicious. Finally had the spoons to clean my nails off of chipped polish from before I was sick. Spent some time writing with a friend- it's been awhile since I wrote a modern mafia with supernatural overtones setting. Contemplating what to repaint my nails with.
Friday, October 4, 2024
Handful of happy things in the days since. Blue raspberry creamsicle. Chocolate swiss roll cake. Roasted pumpkin seeds, salted. Finally getting back into painting. Figuring out a good enough solution for coding in Ren'py- it's imperfect, but it gets the job done, more or less. Haunted with thoughts of vampires. Nails painted in alternating shades of pink. My beaded, vintage necklace: purple glass and rolled pearls: fits perfectly, and the clasp is manageable. Golden foil butterfly stickers on the card to put onto my writing notebook.
Saturday, October 5, 2024
Got three Sanrio t-shirts as a gift- a pink one with silver sparkly stars and My Melody and Kuromi, a team one in laurels in similar pink, and a black one with Kuromi and a pair of cherries. Fantastic.
Sunday, October 6, 2024
The clasp on my vintage choker is slightly annoying, but I haven't had any reactions thus far- quite pleased about that, since it can be hit or miss sometimes with metal alloys. Good coffee. Finally have a desk set up in my study, and it's satisfying to finally be able to exercise good posture, and have a surface that's at the correct height to comfortably type on for hours on end- and a nice, smooth, flat top to write by hand. A frankly luxurious amount of surface area to prop up all sorts of things and still have the room to sprawl out and stretch with my personal effects and arms propped up on the table.
Also figured out the best angle for putting my small, entirely too bright desk lamp, to gently light it enough to write by, but not burn out my retinas at night.
Saturday, October 12, 2024
Refound my missing lipstick- it's a color changing balm, really- it goes on clear, tints to a sweet pink: has a little rose embed inside of it. I haven't worn it down to the rose, yet, but it was a nice little gift from the Korean shop nearby, where I also was given adorable Creme Shop x Sanrio lipbalms in adorable macaron packaging- which I also had eaten some ridiculously fancy ones recently: more pretty to look at, than tasty to eat, but still a cool novelty to bite into something that smelled and tasted violently of rose potpourri. The box is very sweet, and I want to keep it for my fountain pen ink.
Sunday, October 13, 2024
Found a solo journalling game that I've really gotten into lately. It satisfies that itch for a bit of spontaneous, random element outside of your control that makes roleplaying so appealing to me, with needing to adapt to whatever's presented to you, and also is easy and light enough on the mechanics that it isn't a grind to get through: it focuses primarily on the writing aspect, which is my favourite part. Really lovely, tender setting, with the potential to make things as dark or as light as you'd like- dabbling around with magic is always fun in stories, too. It's kept me from focusing too much on rumination, which is also great.
The weather is finally cold enough that I've taken to wearing socks and a sweater while inside of my study. The increased warmth meant that I slept like a rock. It's good passive motivation to keep writing, as well, since otherwise my fingers are frigid.
Monday, October 14, 2024
Finally figured out a configuration of my vintage rings- one from an American maker in the 1970's, the other from the USSR sometime near the late 1950's (with an emerald cut sapphire!) that I find most comfortable to wear- the sapphire on my right ring finger, the solitaire on the left- it looks like a very pretty traditional wedding and slightly unconventional engagement set.
Also tore out some used pages from an old notebook- a gift from someone who loved me, the contents making allusion to an ex partner. It was a little sad, skimming briefly over having made mention of recording myself saying that I loved them for them to keep close at hand- but in a distant, remote sense, rather than a wash of overwhelming grief. It'll be good to finally put the book to good use- it's a nice, fluffy covered one with a cute ribbon tie, and Nota paper has always been lovely to me- it'll be a nice treat to upgrade to when I outgrow my current solo TTRPG notebook.
Also finally got around to updating my 4theWords thread again... that sure sat around for a bit. Tinkered about with the word goal settings to reflect my current shift in focus. Tidied up and consolidated my website's pages, as well.
Monday, October 21, 2024
Finally got around to updating my projects page with the second solo TTRPG playthrough I've been journalling, and got around to setting up a Tumblr account, yippee. Kind of nostalgic for how a theme resource I used as a teenager to set up roleplay accounts is still active, and has a great tagging system- picking out a simple page that was mostly pink, low on frills, was super easy. Transcribed some of day 2 play. Decided to put my pretty notebook nearby- I might use my mildliners on it after all. Took a fantastic picture of a squirrel today.
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
Some very unexpected, nice news. Pleased to be able to share it with a friend the next time we chat. Had some fun poking around with a bit of graphic design as well- blue isn’t my usual color, but it paired with chrome- is quite pretty.
A friend also landed safely back in NYC recently, and I’m happy about that too. They’re certainly enjoying the city water.
Thursday, October 31, 2024
It’s my first Halloween where I’m the only one doling out treats and holding the fort down from packs of ravenous toddlers- and it’s been a pretty harrowing, if at times, sweet experience.
A very cute mummy and daughter Little Mermaid pair got misty eyed over the little girl’s first Halloween and exclaimed “Oh, you didn’t have to!” when I handed her a scoop of candy. Two highschool girls dressed up- a witch and a princess, one of whom didn’t have a candy bucket, but cupped her hands instead. A very polite young man my age, but he had a pillow case and a broken mask, which counts as a costume in my book, so candy for you too! One sweet little boy who said “MMMM!!” when he saw the bucket.
Medley of tiny tots who just stared up at me for treats silently (it seems as if fewer understand how trick or treat works? At least from my recollection from previous years,) and lots of happy parents who wished me a good night / Happy Halloween, all of whom seemed baffled to see me at the door.
The kid bought me a pair of glittery cat ears on a headband for Halloween, so I’m a very lazy black kitty tonight. He’s gone as a skeleton from Minecraft. The neighbourhood is relatively sleepy. The horror is mostly in the intermittent loud noise (hell on the PTSD), but nothing a hot shower won’t be able to soothe after I run out of candy and flick the porch off for the night later.
Monday, November 4, 2024
Been awhile since I didn’t just boot open Canva to collage stuff together, and I had a bit of fun with using some of the same techniques I normally do with a solid opacity- more of a scratchy feel to my usually soft painterly stuff, especially with the skin. Normally I’d paint at about 80-90% opacity to help the colours pool/float closer together and blend out. Also futzed around with some brushes and texture on the coat, which I also never really do, so that was neat. Bit of some more stark / bold lineart, sort of comic-y Walking Dead style on the face too, which was fun to layer in on top at the end.
Wednesday, November 6, 2024
I’ve been meaning to get around to sewing a hole in my old, favourite blanket, and I just finished that up. Very satisfying to be able to repair stuff I care about, in addition to doing fun things like sewing clothes for my teddies.
Saturday, November 9, 2024
Uhm, so remember this? I’ve been using up all of my luck, lately. Last night, while rummaging around in my mountain of pillows and blankets, I was horrified to realize that the open pair of thread cutting scissors (super sharp!) had gotten tangled up in my top sheet, and been directly underneath my neck.
Amazingly, I haven’t been cut or scratched- a combination of my plush pillows, the top sheet, and heavy blankets wrapped around myself kept me from even a small scratch- which is a miracle, considering I’m a hemophiliac, and even one small cut would leave me profusely hemorrhaging for days.
Very, very lucky. If I were a kitty, I’m pretty sure I’d used up a life there.
Found a bag of AA batteries, which is exactly the kind that I need in my computer mouse, so I’m set to go for ages. It runs out pretty slowly, but it is a major pain in the ass when it dies in the middle of some task, given that I normally prop my laptop up on a stand to bring it more so to eye-level height, so that was nice to bumble into while tidying up.
Sunday, November 10, 2024
Did laundry today- very happy with changing out the general linens too, we have a darker colour scheme at the moment: charcoal gray and a deep blue. Painted my nails- Violet Riot as a base, Let Me Go as a topper- super iridescent and fairycore.
We have a severe thunderstorm warning in the province right now- when the thunder broke overhead, I thought that a car had crashed into a lightpole outside, it was so loud. The streets are flooding. I saw a jogger booking it down the street as fast as they could, sprinting and sloshing up water in their wake. Absolutely bonkers. The water is even louder than my fan at full bore in my room. But I’m glad there wasn’t an accident outside, and it’s just rain- the trees will appreciate it.
Happy to hear that a little coincidence I set into motion worked out nicely for Dan. We were chatting earlier, and he showed off some old photos- (it’s pretty crazy how wide the range his hair color can be is, depending on the extent of sun bleaching,) it was good to hear from him.
Weather has finally been persistently cold enough I feel safe opening up my bedroom window to let in fresh air. Was nice to take a brisk walk, even with overcast skies and greyish light, the chill winds feel wonderful.
Monday, November 12, 2024
Had fun writing back and forth snail mail style with Arlo today- they got the same fountain pen that I have! Different nib sizing, but that was delightful. Also got to listen to some good music, and I freaking fixed my window, so it’s no longer cold enough to use my room as a fridge in here. Yippee!
Tuesday, November 13, 2024
Cold enough to use my room as a fridge in here.
This is literal, by the by- I forgot a bottle of milk out on my desk, and it was icy cold to the touch come morning. A very comfy cozy, happy little camper- piled blankets overtop, window open just the tiniest bit for some fresh air and enough of a chill to make laying in bed even comfier.
Refilled my fountain pens, and realized I am well past the halfway mark on my little 30mL bottle of Diamine Hope Pink, which is absolutely wild. Am happily anticipating being able to show off my first fully emptied ink bottle to my fountain pen friends. And it’s quite seasonal, since I try to keep my ink collection small, and with the holidays coming up, it quite tidily makes room in my collection without too much guilt…
Replaced my toothbrush today. It’s something I’ve been meaning to pencil in at the back of my mind, but never really got around to doing so, since it was so low in my priorities. The case is a dark, opaque blue, which I found to be a nice, fun change from the translucent case of before.
Dinner was fantastic. Tiny bit of rice, but the main star was the chunks of mackerel that I wolfed down alongside slabs of boiled beets, cabbage, carrots, and broccoli. Had some beet and carrot soup to finish it off on a lighter note. I’ve had the oddest craving for broccoli and beets as of late, so it was very satisfying being able to fulfill both of those.
I’ve gotten watercress ones before, which is wild, since they’re usually pretty unpalatable to me: the bitter vegetal quality is a bit overwhelming if had plain, like in soup- but nice if stir fried for some texture.
Typically my cravings are fairly obvious- (I haven’t had the overwhelming urge to eat raw meat due to severe anemia for some years now, thankfully, having gotten a better handle on it to avoid salivating over pale pork and dancing dreams of inevitable taeniasis, and the writhing tapeworms swimming pallidly through flesh), but every now and then I just get totally random ones. Like, people usually crave chocolate?
I do enjoy broccoli and beets, but having eaten a solid third of my total food intake for the last few days as being plain, boiled or steamed broccoli and still craving more of it is faintly absurd and confusing. But damn if it didn’t hit the spot. I usually just chalk it up to some nutrient deficiency or being short on fibre or something. Or it’s just a weird urge to eat crunchy stuff and it’s a heck of a lot safer than rocks, like when I had my iron deficiency induced pica.
Wednesday, November 14, 2024
Took a rummage around and decided to try to get into oatmeal, since we have a huge bag of quick oats and a surprising amount of various add ins- frozen fruit, maple syrup, and some crunchy chocolate granola with dried fruits. Should be nice to add into random meals I eat when my blood sugar is tanked out and I’m staring into the abyss and struggling to figure out what to have.
Been using a hand cream lately before bed, (Glysomed, got a nice big tube of it from Costco, I keep it stationed at my desk), given the chapping Canadian winter rearing its head around the corner, and it’s been working marvellously. It is a horrendously greasy feeling formulation, so a tiny little dab of it does me well, and the smell is inoffensive enough- chamomile. I’m talking like, the size of an eraser head on a pencil dot. Anymore and you’re the slipperiest beast there ever lived. But it’s been fantastic on avoiding painful cracks, or flares of my eczema from skin irritation. Very much so a bedtime, rather than through the day kind of cream.
Friday, November 15, 2024
Hit a fun wordcount tonight, 7,777.
Saturday, November 16, 2024
Dan sent me a cute Pixie and Brutus comic, that was very similar to us.
Sunday, November 17, 2024
Fresh change of bed linens, and spent some time looking over inks, notebooks, and swiss army knives.
Had some fun brainstorming characters with Edmund last night also, and it’s a scenario that’s one of my favourites, but that I rarely get to make much use out of. (Come to think of it, though, it would make for a nice work of interactive fiction…)
A friend of mine had, very generously, made available to me a bunch of resources that he uses in his day to day work ages back, and I’ve kept a hold of them alongside some from a PTSD peer support group I attended, and bits and bobs shared from my therapy sessions that are freely available, just not super popularized or easy to find unless you know what you’re looking for. Workbooks, skill building exercises, self care suggestions, interactive quizzes, that sort of thing.
Not too far back, I was able to share them with someone who was going through a difficult time, and surprisingly, it was helpful to a lot more people present than I would have imagined, which was really lovely, to be able to help them, even if it was in a small way. It was a wonderful moment, having a candid, heartfelt discussion about some really difficult times, and to be able to tangibly help as well as sharing in that moment of solidarity and consolation. To not feel alone is such a gift to share. One of them mentioned saving one particular resource into their own collection to pass along to others, and that was also fantastic to see.
Also, the weather forecast broadcasts we should be back to our usual weather patterns- cold, chilly, and a bit bleak. That’s just how I like my winters. It has been slightly unnerving, seeing all of the dandelion fluffs and such, even as leaf litter covers the ground. But hopefully it’ll be back to business as usual, and snow will come before Christmas.
Growing up, we always had snow- often blizzards flurrying down by Halloween, if not earlier- so many costumes accomodated for that, or older teenagers and adults would go to house parties, rather than roaming around the frigid streets with the kids. It’s only been in the last few years, maybe like, 2 or 3, that I’ve noticed a strong shift. A year or two ago was the first time we nearly didn’t have any snow until right the night before Christmas- which was alarming, and deeply concerning. Hoping for some earlier snows this year. I’ve never had a Christmas without it.
Refilled my water containers for the week, and had a nice little chit chat with Dan briefly, while he was in the waiting room. Always good to hear from him.
Always pleased to be able to pull out some fountain pen knowledge and help a friend out with regard to the esoteric labelling of convertor hell. And it’s always fun to swap back and forth little hand written snippets!
We have good coffee in stock again. Fantastic. I’ve been miserably drinking some of the emergency reserve, but it’s so much more acidic than the good stuff. Already stoked about tomorrow’s pot.
Monday, November 18, 2024
Weather is projecting up to 40mm of rainfall this week, gathered towards the later half, which is absolutely bananas. Small potential for snow, but it seems to most likely be rain. Well, it’s gonna be soggy!
Got some big tasks off of my plate after chasing it down for almost two months. Exhausted, so decided to take the rest of the evening as some self care time. Decided to redo my nails- filed and reshaped, painted them, and went with a subtler iridescent ‘your nails but better’ kind of look with a thin wash of color. They’re dry enough to go about my daily activities without smudging wet paint, but still need cure time, since when tapped against each other they’re not quite all the way done. Nice to have use of my hands back.
Also cleaned my sapphire necklace and ring and put them back on- I’m mindful about not using body lotions or scents directly touching either, but it’s a good habit to keep up, even with their relatively simple design that doesn’t clog a bunch of gunk into the silver.
Tiny bit of over two weeks into my writing project, and I’m really pleased with it. Some days, I don’t write very much at all. Others, I clock in three or four times my more typical chunks. But watching the number steadily crawl upwards is so satisfying, all the same.
Some very good news for some loved ones of a friend. Always happy to help pull together some vetted resources with regards to reproductive health and maternal care in the post-partum period. Nice to hear Mike chip in on it too, since parent chatter is always pleasant.
Spent a bit of time dipping into water filtration systems for a friendly acquaintance, and it was nice being able to help with parsing out the certifications and such.
Just broke 10k in my current WIP- which means I’m a fifth of the way there. Stoked.
Tuesday, November 19, 2024
Papa came over for a brief visit, which was pleasant to catch up with him over. Mostly just about health related stuff, what we’ve been up to, a kiss to the crown of my head, and sent him along with some snack bars.
He’s returned for dinner. Yay!
Had a good visit and several nice conversations. Lovely heart to heart with Dan, and some chatter with Tabitha. Was also fiddling around with a new camera- which hilariously made it look as if I was reporting from the moon, with the extra terrestrial haze from the ambient lighting and night fall, plus big old shrubbery looking like rocks according to them.
Wednesday, November 20, 2024
Tried mixing in a spoonful of hot chocolate mix into my oatmeal today, and it was absolutely fantastic, especially with the chocolate granola on top. Accidentally left it sitting out for a bit, but the thicker texture is actually really lovely, almost pudding like and soft.
Had a good chat with some friendly acquaintances, (including the one where we’d talked briefly about water filtration systems) and caught up with someone who I haven’t seen in awhile- it’s nice to see that they’re still interested in marine biology.
The little man insisted, so we have our Christmas tree up early.
Fixed up some of the broken Christmas ornaments. Some were missing the little loop to hang them onto the tree with, so I sewed them new ones with some bright red doubled up thread. Not too tricky to figure out how to do, after I figured out how to drape the length over my fingers to keep it laid flat while securing the end with a knot.
Thursday, November 21, 2024
A friend of mine complimented me in a way that’s probably going to bounce around in the ol’ noggin for years to come. Thinking very tenderly about it.
Dad came over for a surprise quick visit and chat- aimless stuff, the weather, health, snow boots and winter tires, lights and safety of paths. Forecast predicts snow sometime soon, rather than nail bitingly close to Christmas. Lights up along the bannister.
He wound up staying over for dinner- my plate was too salty, and he casually insisted on swapping ours. Some false starts with when he was actually heading out, but he just paused, laughed, and reasoned that ‘well hugs are good for you anyways’ so I got doubles. Total win.
Saw a cute squirrel outside today.
Took some time to scrub my ring collection clean, and it’s nice to see them all sparkly and shiny.
Sweetpea is currently the longest completed work I have out, as far as I can recall- and I just noticed while implementing a bunch of text and tinkering with the content warnings page, that Cuspid has surpassed it at being currently around ~13k words long (still far from finished, but making good progress.) That was pretty exciting to realize.
Friday, November 22, 2024
In further oatmeal experiments: having enjoyed the hot chocolate mix stirred in last time, I went off of that basic idea. Melted in two squares of chocolate, sloshed in milk, two shots of espresso, a splash of vanilla extract, white sugar, and microwaved it to get it to the texture I wanted. This is freaking delicious. It’s fun trialling out random stuff we have laying around.
Also, the melanistic grey squirrels are apparently only common in my area and some of the Northern states- it’s a natural fur variation that dominates local populations. It’s far rarer to see a rusty brown or a greyish coloured one, and I could anecdotally count on my hands the times I’ve seen those over the five years I lived near major colonies.
Tabitha took a picture of an estate jewellery table and I got to go absolutely ham infodumping on my best assessment of the pieces on display and that was a fantastic thrill. So much fun.
Saturday, November 23, 2024
Enjoying a snuggle in bed, beneath warm blankets and flopped on soft pillows.
Some friends of mine have been very sweet after hearing the bad news. One searched up a cute little cat swaddled up in a blanket to share my way, (something they don’t normally do, which makes it more endearing to imagine them thinking about precisely what key terms to use to find just the right kitty picture), and some of the comeows sent over some pictures from the Garctic phone game I missed that included a very snazzy kitty in sunglasses with their well wishes. I love how on brand cute kitties are for me.
My memory’s shot- I totally forgot that I had already made a cup of coffee and left it on my desk. On the bright side, I did just find out where the second mug had gone, and yay, two cups of coffee to stave off the migraines.
Sunday, November 24, 2024
I’m lucky enough to live in Ontario, where they grow some damn good apples. My favourite apples from the store are those big pink Fuji apples- super sweet, crisp, they last forever, and they’re always huge. But a Honeycrisp is nice (though a bit tart), Ambrosia apples are soft and sweet without any sting, Cortlands are best for fruit salad cause they don’t get all icky when cut, and a McIntosh is fantastic in pies- they get better (sweeter) the older they are. If I’m gonna be eating an apple in hand, it’s usually Fuji or Ambrosia. We have a bag of Cortlands from the farmer’s market in the fridge at the moment, though.
Got to eat some crab today, yum. Had a bite of oyster just to try it out, but I am not a fan at all, which is mildly disappointing, since I do enjoy seafood. Still, good to know now. Also ate bits of a rotisserie chicken with my hands like an animal, and surprise Krispy Kreme donuts were plunked down and offered as a treat, so I liked trying out one of those- the fried flavour is really prominent, but the honey-ish sugary glaze was nice. I’m still surprised that a family friend eats one of these for breakfast with his coffee, but they do pair nicely with a sturdy black coffee. Clean bed linens, fresh PJs- lovely cold night to snuggle up beneath the covers.
Ran across a great compilation of Kepler 1- one of my favourite characters of all time, and who holds a very soft place in my heart. The Whiskey Speech is iconic, of course, but he has so many good lines.
What, you think when I was young I dreamt about this? About being stuck up here? Of course not. I had things I wanted to do, places I wanted to see, people I wanted to be with, and that’s all… that’s all gone.
You knew that when you signed up, and you knew that she’d be an expendable asset. Don’t get sentimental, Alana. It doesn’t become you.
I like this scotch. A lot. I like the taste. I like the smell. I like the feel of it in my hand. Here’s the thing: end of a long day at work? I want to have this bottle of whiskey. It will make my life better. But if it started to get in the way of my work, I could get rid of it and things would be… well, they’d be more or less fine. I’d be sad, but life would go on. You all? You’re whiskey. You’re a nice to have. But nothing more than that.
It’s been twelve hours. There are limits to the human body. What it can withstand. […] You’re pushing too hard. They need a chance to catch their breath, or something’s going to break.
Monday, November 25, 2024
Ate bits of a rotisserie chicken with my hands like an animal. It’s fantastic for the spirit. Maybe not so much the constitution, but that’s what the yummy soup you make from the bones and stock is for. Highly recommend.
Tuesday, November 26, 2024
I’ve been frazzled, and all over the place, today has been rough- and I’ve been lucky enough to have both friends and acquaintances offer to help- (of which I am appreciative and grateful,) but it’s also crazy how talking to Dan soothed all of those frenzied scrambling little monstrous brainworms.
It’s always good to hear from him. It’s just comforting to speak with him. Even in scenarios where neither of us can necessarily fix whatever issue is knocking down at our doors: just spending time together with someone who you know cares about you and loves you as a sibling is really special and something to be treasured. It’s kind of the first time I’ve really been happy all day, and it’s nice to let that feeling float about for a little bit, and bask, like a chunky little cat curled up in a pool of sunshine.
It’s not a new feeling to me, that sense of security and safety that comes with a relationship you have with someone who painfully understands even what you leave implicitly unsaid, because they know you, just like you know ridiculous little quirks like meatloaf preferences and sense how they’ll react in scenarios ahead and are proven right time and time again- but it’s always a really affirming moment to linger in. To be known is to be loved, and to be loved is such a precious gift.
Wednesday, November 27, 2024
I am, among many things, rather stubborn, which is why it took me two freaking hours to put on my necklace today. I mean, it most certainly is on now, but good grief that was far more difficult than it needed to be. The sheer blinding rage of realizing I had accidentally flipped it and would then have to take it off and try again shortly into the process was horrible. But it’s on, and I’m satisfied with that. I do need to go ahead and get my hands on a larger ring to connect onto the other end, though- affixing a vintage silver lobster clasp lets me even put it on in the first place, the initial clasp was impossible to use, being one of those tiny springback circle shaped ones, but this was entirely too infuriating. It’s so strange, sometimes I get it done in one clean shot, and other times I spend literal hours grappling with it. But it’s on! And that’s a win.
It’s gotten very cold, so I put on my favourite PJ pants. They’re fluffy, fleecy teal, with grey kittens in pink and blue scarfs all over the fluff, with a dark blue, sparkly waistband drawstring ribbon, and it’s so cute and comfy.
Necklaces with clasps are so annoying. The trendier toggle and clasp style seems to be more convenient to wear than more traditional clasps, but I’d be too afraid of the bar portion falling out of the quite large circle while jogging around, and they don’t really feel as secure to me, even if it’s probably worrying over nothing.
I usually wear vintage pieces, so the clasps can be especially fiddly. I did enjoy the adjustable nylon cord that my chunk of Canadian rhodonite sourced from a family owned mine (primarily a pale pink stone, mine had a swathe of clear/greyish patch running through like a snowy river) came with, but unfortunately that tends to be more so a feature of similarly rustic/boho style pieces.
Thursday, November 28, 2024
A friend of mine, Sarah, sent a picture of her orange and white, seriously fluffy, cat. He’s not all that bright, but he’s a real snugglebug, and an admirer of art, since he loves to stare at some paintings she puts up on the wall and rotates out for him occasionally. He was draped so dramatically over a chair, with a mournful, contemplative look on his little round face, probably opining over the fact they won’t let him eat all of Thanksgiving dinner on his own. It’s hilarious. He’s a huge cat, so he takes up the whole chair! Sarah’s busy with family this year, but said that she knew she absolutely had to share it with me because she knew I’d love the picture, and she was right, haha.
I was re-reading some of my old writing from a few years ago, and I was surprised that I actually still quite liked it. I mean, it was a lot better than I fuzzily recalled it being, even a scene that I had felt was kind of cringe in hindsight- but really, it wasn’t all that bad at all. I can see a little of where my writing style has matured, but there’s largely the same blueprint of my style- ‘decadent’ as one commenter had mentioned, heavily character driven, the setting treated as a character- and it’s so strange, realizing how much it sounds like me, and the places where it diverges. I was shocked that it wasn’t actually as horrible as I had thought it was. Kind of a pleasant surprise.
There’s the tiniest dusting of snow outside. It’s the FIRST snow of the season!
Friday, November 29, 2024
I was looking forward to breaking 30% of the draft when I noticed I’d crawled up to 29%, but actually wound up overshooting it with my most recent update to my tracker. Yippee!!
Cracked into a new container of body butter- just used a little scoop on my hands since they dry out in the winter weather- the Au Lait one from Scottish Fine Soaps. The formula absorbed readily, and it’s an interesting change from my usual strawberry scented assortment. Not too heavy of a perfumed smell, but it almost smells like cold cream and infant formula, which is a bit strange. Like milk, but a bit warmer. I only needed about a little less than the back of a fingernail to leave my hands soft- a lot less messy of an option for the daytime, as opposed to the Glysomed handcream I’ve been wearing to bed, since that formula is fantastic, but leaves me kind of unable to do most tasks without it feeling a bit slippery.
Saturday, November 30, 2024
We have milk in the house again! No more black coffee horrors.
I was sitting down on the stairs and spilled my entire drink on myself. The silver lining is it was just cold water, and not boiling hot coffee.
Sunday, December 1, 2024
Have come into possession of a very plush, thick, and soft fleecy blanket- the perfect tiny size to use in my lap while sitting in my office chair. Yippee! The kid never really liked this one all that much compared to his other, lighter, silkier blanket, but he’s officially outgrown it, having declared it was ‘uncool’ and handing it off. With the snow blanketing down, and another squall headed our way, it works out perfectly timing wise for me.
Monday, December 2, 2024
Found and cleaned out a tiny eye cream container to use for a bit of decanted body butter to use on my hands before bed, in case I forget to slather it on my hands before I hop beneath the covers. Tucked it into easy reach on my bookshelf/nightstand.
Tuesday, December 3, 2024
Had a talk with Dan, which was nice.
Spotify Wrapped came out, and I laughed, because I always do say that Chromeo is one of my favourite artists of all time, but the stats look kind of ridiculous.
My top song was ‘When The Night Falls,’ listened to 26 times, which puts me in the top 0.05% of their listeners worldwide. My top five songs (all by Chromeo) were: When The Night Falls, Don’t Turn The Lights on, Bonafied Lovin’ (Tough Guys), I’m Not Contagious, and Don’t Walk Away. I listened to them for a total of 3,992 minutes, and that put me in the top 0.01% of their listeners worldwide.
I do indeed like their music, it turns out.
Top five artists, (which is hardly relevant, given the huge amount of Chromeo play time) were: Chromeo, Noah Kahan, Tame Impala, The Front Bottoms, and Zach Bryan.
Wednesday, December 4, 2024
Very excited about a bit of good news that I can finally share in detail soon. It’s a pleasure to have something small to look forward to, and to know the measurable good it’s done as well.
Papa came over unexpectedly and we had dinner together- he insisted on sharing half of the dish that’d been made just for him. Chatted, mostly about the weather, health, squirrels by the stop- and I experienced the sheer disgusting sludge of an apple cider vinegar shot, before he went off to shovel the snow and ice from the driveway and I flopped on the stairs to eat a bit of candy to wash away the horrifically spicy aftertaste.
We’ve got new body wash and shampoo in the house again- very, very pleased that the bulk bottles with the pump top were on sale and in stock- they make it so much easier to use what can otherwise be pretty unwieldy to handle with weak wrists, or annoying to decant into smaller pump bottles. Sometimes I use the little tiny containers you get from hotels and such if my wrists are in a very poorly state, but it’s nice to not have to waste that much plastic.
Thursday, December 5, 2024
Was chattering with Edmund about preferences in romantic interests in visual novels/works of interactive fiction. I collaged a silly little thing to demonstrate my extremely obvious taste in character dynamics/arcs: the sweet, compassionate friends-to-lover, who is inclined towards being very gentle and kind to the main character from the get go, protective of them and their friends, usually with a side of slow burn and their own character development of working through feelings of inadequacy/self loathing due to a self perceived ‘monstrous’ nature to growing to trust the main character and maintaining a steadfast devotion to ‘being a better person than what might’ve been pre-ordained by destiny for me.’
There’s Juniper (June) from Andromeda Six, Cove from Our Life, Quest from Blooming Panic, Aeran from Wayfarer, and Rêzan from A Tale of Crowns.
Papa said that he’s moving back to be closer to family which is fantastic news to have over lunch.
Zed lost his remote today, and was driven to distraction in trying to hunt it down. I suggested he might’ve lost it in some of the boxes set aside for Inky, or else on a flat surface nearby them if he set it down while hauling boxes- and while he’d had the idea to rummage around in them prior, after he went back at it to see at my suggestion, he did find it in a box that was older and the flaps had gotten all floppy, leading to the remote tumbling into the box. Yippee!
Friday, December 6, 2024
There’s a new issue of Indiepocalypse 2, and my game VESPERTINE* is in it!
*VESPERTINE was made prior to a social transition and name change. I wound up linking to my back catalogue since it’s where my currently existent body of work is.
Got a haircut today- long overdue. It’s a bit shorter than I would have liked, but the layers look nice and fluffy, especially when my hair dries into the bouncy curls and waves it’s been inclined towards ever since a recent big chop and change in water source. Apparently I’ve always had wavy hair, according to an older relative- it’s just not really been taken care of properly, since I assumed it was naturally pin straight, and that that’s why my hair has always been so frizzy and poofy. Having super long hair for most of my life (down to the small of my back) also stretched out/weighed down the waves. Baby me even had cute little ringlets that fell into loose waves when I was teeny tiny! But it’s been interesting seeing the change. It looks a lot like Anya from Mouthwashing at the moment, which isn’t the worst haircut out there- the layers and bangs I’m pretty pleased with.
For once, the culinary disaster in the kitchen wasn’t my fault- and I was the first one to notice that something smelt like it was burning- which promptly saved the entire stovetop from bursting into flames given the pot had run dry and was seconds from a chaotic disaster. We had to air out the dining room, but no lasting harm was done.
Caught up with a friend I haven’t spoken to in awhile- we had fun writing some play-by-post stuff together. Creating ridiculous little AUs of canon franchises is always fun.
Saturday, December 7, 2024
Did two sinks worth of dishes, which was pretty cathartic. Running laundry at the moment… The dryer is inefficient at best, but the household backup is a bit absurd, so even running cycles through the entire weekend might just barely squeak by in terms of finishing in time. Hoping to launder some of the linens tomorrow…
Sunday, December 8, 2024
Little man had a great time at the seasonal festival, and picked up some odds and ends- he loved trying some of the candy popups they had on site, and he remembered that I like candycanes, so insisted on picking one out for me, which was very sweet. We ate cookies together today- chocolate chip, and he’s been enjoying his new pyjamas: snowflakes and cars and trucks, in a fleecy mink fabric.
Monday, December 9, 2024
I’ve clipped an angel brooch overtop of my sleeve- I lost it a long time ago, and it unexpectedly returned to me long after I’d thought it gone for good. I won’t be able to sleep with it on, not like how I wear my rings and necklace to sleep most nights, but it’s a nice little sparkly thing to occasionally remember exists when it gleams in the corner of my vision- and the point of having nice things is to enjoy them, even if you’re just hunched over at your desk feverishly painting a piece that you wind up discarding a few hours in- the whole process of painting was more so the point than the end result, so it was time well spent all the same.
Wednesday, December 11, 2024
Been enjoying making a cup of hot chocolate in the afternoon, and using up the mini marshmallows that fit so satisfyingly in the cup. Still terrible at remembering to actually drink my drinks, so here I sit, several hours into the evening later with it having gone cold on my desk- but a sweet treat is still a sweet treat.
Also got to speak with Dan, which is always a stabilizing, comforting thing. It's always good to hear from him.
Thursday, December 12, 2024
Didn't fall down today, despite a very close encounter with sliding along an icy driveway- definitely need to get out there and heavily salt it. The roiling fog blanketing everything in an eerie, Silent Hill-esque ambiance was interesting to watch at dusk and dawn for the last three days, but the snow's back in full force. Wearing cozy pyjamas and enjoying hot chocolate. Also cleaned up an old notebook- it's pretty and pink and good as new. And sifted through some of the archived happy-posting to slap up the nice ones I wanted to keep prominently.
Saturday, December 14, 2024
Good cup of strong, hot coffee. Chest wound is infected, but at least bleeding out to purge. Bright sunshine. Clear skies. Good conversation last night with a friend about art- traditional medium preferences, the meditation in collage, and a comparison between choice/parser models and the art of collage versus drawing. Also, found that Blu DeTiger makes a great voiceclaim for my OC Sam.